I thought it was high time I discovered the true nature of my readership. I can’t go on writing for you if I don’t know what you’re really like. And so, in the best tradition of Girls Own Paper, I’ve devised a survey. Please be dishonest.
1. Who or what (real, historical or fictional) would you most like to frolic with? (your secret is safe with me)
2. Who or what would you least like to frolic with? (species not important)
3. What things or events most get you in the mood? (be inventive)
4. Is there a special place where you dream of being wooed? (geographically speaking, not anatomically)
5. What is the biggest turn-off for you? (be specific)
6. Do you have unfulfilled fantasies? (at your age?)
7. What time of day are you usually randiest? (assuming you’re awake)
8. Do feelings of inadequacy dog your love life? (be pathetic)
9. What do you think of people who commission sex surveys? (be gentle)
Boy, am i gonna get it for this!!!
1. Natasha McElhone (star, “Californication”)
2. Any male
3. Perky young things slowly undressing
4. In space
5. Skinng, bony hands (flapjack boobies a close 2nd)
6.Nope!
7. 24/7
8. Nope
9. Too cheap to buy the mags or subscribe to the sites…
Good input Marc, many thanks.
Love it Rob!
1. Christ, I don’t know… This is a really hard one for me. I’m actually kind of stumped… So I’m going to just take a stab at it and pull a random name out of about 874… And it turns out to be Rene, O’s lover who takes her to the chateau at the beginning of The Story of O… Second name out of the hat (just for good measure) is… Charlize Theron… And that leaves 872 to keep you guessing!
2. A blue whale. As much as I love a big cock… 8 foot is kind of scary!
3. Showering, reading, writing, driving, walking, running, talking, breathing, sleeping. I think that just about covers it.
4. I love the ocean. I’ve been wooed there before, but it’s probably my favorite.
5. Judgmental people.
6. Yes. MMF.
7. All of them. If my eyes are open, I’m ready to go…
8. No. There have been times that I was embarrassed about my body, but not anymore…
9. I think they’re cute…
It was fun Rob.
Love your answers and the way you rise to the challenge.
well aren’t you bold again! guess we know what’s on your mind…are you going to answer your own questions?
OK, yes, good idea. This was intended as a spoof quiz for a bit of fun. I didn’t expect detailed population of my matrix. Since you (and others) have done so, so shall I.
that’s better!
1. my Hubby
2. anyone who’s not my Hubby
3.wine and romance
4.the mountains
5.slimy jerks who use and abuse
6.maybe and what do you mean at my age??
7.day time??
8.yes
9.well you left that wide open…ohhh that could be a bad joke!
Thanks for your reply: most entertaining.
lol and yours???
1. Who or what (real, historical or fictional) would you most like to frolic with? (your secret is safe with me)
It varies. I have a long list of dark haired beauties going back decades. Currently Nicole Schertzinger is top of the pile; before her Michelle Keegan, Natalie Imbruglia, Linda Love Hewitt, Shirley Bassey, Yvonne Goolagong.
2. Who or what would you least like to frolic with? (species not important)
Anything likely to eat me. Anything not human and female.
3. What things or events most get you in the mood? (be inventive)
That look: you know the one!
4. Is there a special place where you dream of being wooed? (geographically speaking, not anatomically)
Water. Sea, lake, river, bath, shower, jacuzzi, whatever.
5. What is the biggest turn-off for you? (be specific)
Dirty or bitten fingernails, racism.
6. Do you have unfulfilled fantasies? (at your age?)
What do you mean “at my age”, you cheeky bastard!
7. What time of day are you usually randiest? (assuming you’re awake)
First thing, when I wake.
8. Do feelings of inadequacy dog your love life? (be pathetic)
No.
9. What do you think of people who commission sex surveys? (be gentle)
I think they’re the most attractive, passionate, wonderful people in the world.
1- Kat Von D
2- John Cena
3- the risk of being caught
4- underneath the aurora borealis, in a cosy log cabin<3
5- anuses :'D
6- sex in the rain :3
7- midnight
8- not really
9- okay as long as the questions aren't really personal :L
Interesting. Thanks for taking part.
Rob.
1. My late granddad or Dita Von Teese.
2. Hungry bears
3. Jazz/Blues music… oooohhh… that gets me going for sure.
4. Phew, naeh, any place will do for me…
5. People farting way to loudly and being proud of it.
6. Hell yeah. Still haven’t got myself a redheaded lover… working on it though..
7. Definitely in the morning, any female next to me is not safe then.
8. Yes *patheticly crying*
9. Lovely lovely peeps…
Good answers, thanks.
1. Dracula!
2. Um… animals…?
3. Suggestive eyebrow wiggling, showers (hehee) and the coming of darkness
4. Nah, right here, right now is usually fine.
5. Stinky breath! Like cigarette smoke.
6. Don’t we all? Wait… you don’t want the list do you? That will take a while.
7. The parts of the day when I’m breathing.
8. Only when I need a rest after the third ’round.’
9. You stole my idea!
Many thanks Ileandra, I really liked those. Dracula: are you sure you’ve quite understood?
Rob.
1. Since I think geeky know-it-alls and writers are incredibly sexy I’m going to have to go with James May and J R R Tolkien. I have a crush on them both. Ahem.
2. An orc. Ugh. I’d rather die, she says, dramatically.
3. What gets me most in the mood is being wanted; there’s something incredibly sexy about a man who wants you, and you know it. Certain smells also get me in the mood (like spearmint or the smell of rain). Odd, I know.
4. On the water, but I’m not fussy. When I say on the water, I mean on a ship, or a boat. I’d freak out if he walked on water, mostly because I’m terribly unholy, and I’d sink. Anyway, I don’t think I’d ever be attracted to anyone holy. Or at any rate, holier than thou. Or a series of thous. I think I need to return to the questions.
5. Disloyalty and/or dishonesty, in any way, shape or form. Also a lack of personal hygiene (ew).
6. I’m only 35! I do have two recurring fantasies, but I’m not brave enough to post either of them here.
7. This is hard (hur hur). I honestly don’t have a specific time during the day, but it’s typically not at night, as that’s the time I feel the most creative, and I’m either writing or I’m making notes about my writing. I tend to switch off at about 1 am or so, and then I’m tired and just want to sleep.
8. They used to, but over the past two years I’ve become incredibly comfortable in my skin, and I no longer feel mildly apologetic for the scars I bear. I have come to realise that my scars are a part of my journey, and they come with me in a package deal. I also no longer believe that I’m not a beautiful woman; I know I am. It took a long time for me to realise that, but I’m never letting that knowledge go.
9. I think they have too much time on their hands. Probably. Or they’re just dogged by curiosity. They are neither of them bad things.
Hi Awanthi,
I really love your answers. It’s a damn shame that we shall never meet: I’d really like a good natter with you over a drink.
Many thanks for responding.
Rob.
Hi Rob,
If I ever achieve my dream of moving to your country I shall certainly let you know. You never know – we may just end up having that drink and natter! I’ve learned to never say never!
-A
Hi Awanthi,
What a lovely reply: many thanks!
Rob.