For as long as anyone could remember, Bill and John had fished together in the canal. Every day they were there together, without fail. One Tuesday morning, they were sitting side-by-side on the bank, as usual, when Bill said “I’m not coming tomorrow.”
“Not coming tomorrow?” replied John, utterly aghast.
“No, sorry, I can’t ‘cos I’m getting married. It’s OK though. I’ll be here again on Thursday.”
John heaved a sigh of relief “Oh, that’s OK then.”
Thursday morning, sure enough, they’re fishing together again. But John’s curiosity is piqued “This new wife: are you going to tell me a bit about her?”
“Well, there’s not much to tell, really”.
“Oh” says John.
After a while, John decides to try again: “Is she a looker?”
“No, quite plain, ugly even.”
“Oh” says John.
“Is she an intellectual then, clever like?” asks John, albeit without much conviction.
“No, I’d say she’s pretty thick, really.”
“Oh” says John.
John is nothing if not persistent: “Well, she must be a bubbly personality then; you know, fun to be with?”
“No, she’s quite boring.”
“Oh” says John.
“I’ll bet she’s loaded. Is she? Rich widow or such-like?”
“No, poor as a church mouse.”
“Oh” says John.
“I know, I’ve got the measure of you matey-boy: I’ll bet she’s a nymphomaniac, goes like a bunny, shags you silly every night?”
“No, she’s not interested in sex at all: totally celibate.”
“Oh” says John.
John’s confusion is growing. Eventually he can stand it no longer and challenges his friend “Bill, this makes no sense. If she’s ugly, stupid, thick, boring, broke and celibate, why on earth did you marry her?”
“She’s got worms.”
